OPEN LETTER TO MY BELOVED GRANDSON

 

You occupy a unique place and experience in our family.  My grandfather – your double great grandfather – was born in 1868, seven years after the beginning of the U.S. Civil War. He was the seventh son and the last of his siblings born in the state of Virginia.  While a toddler, his family (minus one brother) followed what was probably the Midland Trail  (paralleling what would later be known as U.S. 60) across the Appalachian Mountains. The journey took nearly two and a half years, ending once the family reached (and purchased) their new home at a settlement in West Virginia, near where the Levisa and the Tug Forks merge to become the Big Sandy River. This community would be chartered as Cassville in 1875 and in 1932 officially change its name to Fort Gay.

 

 

It was there – in that tiny West Virginia town – that my grandfather grew to adulthood, married, built a house, raised five children of his own, and helped raise nine grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews. In the tradition of the African griot (or the Appalachian story teller – whichever you choose to call it), he learned the vital historical details and values of his family and passed those on to the next generations of the family.  (Remember that the oral tradition is the way almost ALL of our history was passed on.)

 

West Virginia was and is now a unique state.  When Virginia seceded from the United States, West Virginia begged to differ and seceded from Virginia.  Why? I suspect that most folks in West Virginia (not being either wealthy or highly educated) had little in common with Old Virginia, economically or socially.  The motto finally adopted by people of the new state was “Montani semper liberi” or “Mountaineers are always free.” It reflects both a strong independent spirit and a determination NOT to be owned or bullied by anyone. (In world history, you will discover that the forces that drove the original Scotch/Irish immigrant population into the mountains had framed much of their future mindset.)

A unique aspect to West Virginia was that my grandfather – a Black man – could register to vote upon reaching adulthood. Actually, 1869 was the magic year when African American men were granted the right to vote in West Virginia. It was 1920 before women got the right to vote. My great grandfather (your triple great grandfather) insisted that his children would vote. They never missed a vote nor did they miss a chance to drill that requirement into the rising generations after them.  They voted and when women's suffrage became legal, their wives and daughters also voted. Around the supper table as I grew up, the news and issues of the day were discussed and never were family members even permitted to think that voting was optional. My grandfather's eyes were watching all of us and it was understood that WE WOULD VOTE!

(Note from your uncle: Contrast this with the experience of your grandfather – my husband – who was forbidden by Jim Crow laws from voting in his native Virginia until the passage of the Civil Rights Act.)

The year that I would turn 21 (legal voting age at that time), I was allowed to register early and vote in the primary because I would be 21 before the general election in November. Since I was in my 3rd year at Berea College, my registration and voting demanded two Greyhound bus trips the 120 miles home. I made BOTH trips. Don't get it wrong. Grampa knew when I should be registered and since he never missed a vote, he also knew when the election came. In that weekly phone call home, he would ask questions that demanded answers.

That spring on Berea's campus, political activity was hectic. The students held a mock political convention in Phelps-Stokes Chapel.  (It was a mock Republican convention sponsored by the Young Republicans club.) Barry Goldwater was nominated, just as he would be nominated at the official convention. I held subscriptions to all the major news magazines, so there was no question as to whether I knew what Barry Goldwater was about politically. In no way did I approve of him or his segregationist views. This was a lighbulb moment for me (an epiphany) – this moment when I realized some striking differences in the thinking between some of my college school mates and me, a young black Appalachian woman. Until that year, I had never considered the differences in thinking that our backgrounds and life experiences had shaped. (Rural, small town, deep South, hill country, urban North, etc.)

For a moment, I will digress (change direction) in my thoughts.  I was well aware of the struggles going on throughout our country. I had seen the confrontations about black folks sitting at lunch counters with white folks, the conflicts about black children and white children going to school together, and – yes – I would see many more racial conflicts. Although I had not seen a conflict when I set foot as a 6^th grader in Fort Gay Elementary School in 1954, I had friends who were students at Berea Foundation School (the high school section of Berea College) who had seen the public schools of Prince Edward County Virginia totally CLOSED to prevent integration. The white students went to private schools; the black children went HOME to no schools. Berea offered admission to the Foundation School to some of the school-less black students. This is not an intellectual exercise; these were people I KNEW and although they didn't  talk much about situations at home in Virginia, I knew what they had endured.  

 

The life experiences of black folk shape our opinions and feelings and our reactions are RELEVANT, but to many who have not shared these experiences, our reactions are incomprehensible.  The inability to empathize or understand is a huge stumbling block to interracial understanding. My grandmother and her eldest child – Uncle Charlie – could catch the train in Fort Gay and ride unmolested to Ohio, but later with her second son – Uncle Carter – the family was relegated to the "blacks only" car because Uncle Carter was of darker brown skin. Your puzzled look tells me that this story seems strange to you, but that was the reality my grandmother had to live with.  The reality I had to live with is that the only hotel in Berea where my father and stepmother could stay when they came to visit was Boone Tavern Hotel, then (and now) owned by Berea College!

1964 was a year of social and political change and racial turmoil was brewing all over the country.  Then, as now, voting rights were a massive issue in many states. The news focused on poll taxes, voting eligibility tests,  and the night riders (also known as the KKK) that would do  ANYTHING to keep black folk from registering to vote.  We faced Mississippi Freedom Summer, the murders of Goodman, Chaney, and Schwerner, and many other incidents, along with the signing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Despair, hope, and yet even more despair  faced us as we moved on toward an uncertain future.  In spite of a federal law supporting many of our civil rights, the path into 1965 was perilous because this was the big push for voting rights across the nation. The strategy in January would be an attempt to awaken the nation to the barriers facing African Americans wishing to vote. Representatives of major civil rights groups met to plan strategy and no, I was not involved in the planning or the early execution. As a friend who was heavily involved told me: "Woman, you have too much temper; you would end up dead!  Stay in Kentucky. We'll tell you when it’s safe for you to come!"

I graduated from Berea toward the end of January 1965 and I continued my student job as a regular Berea College employee at the Berea College Press and the Berea Citizen newspaper.   By the end of February, the situation in Alabama was becoming very tense. Jimmie Lee Jackson was shot by a policeman and died several days later. His crime? Trying to protect his mother from being beaten. By the first week in March, the news was traveling and the big confrontation was in motion. A white minister died because he dared to join and side with the demonstrators in Selma.  People in Berea were aware of events in Alabama. Everyone was trying to keep up with the news. People talked about what was going on down there. Finally, a decision was made to join with the demonstration in the final push toward the Alabama capitol steps in Montgomery.  I would be a participant; I would be on that bus.

Was I afraid? No. Should I have been afraid? Probably. I will never forget walking shoulder to shoulder with hundreds of people as we marched through the streets of Montgomery. There are those who say that the final push of the Selma to Montgomery March included 25,000 people. I really don't know. All I know is that I was there among all those people – black, white, whoever. I remember the looks of the spectators who watched the marchers. The faces were NOT friendly early on, but I remember black folks slipping into the crowd of marchers as we drew nearer the capitol building. In the hours after the march, Civil Rights worker Viola Liuzzo was chased and gunned down by the KKK. Our bus was on the highway headed home to Kentucky when and near where she lost her life.  We would not find out about her death until after we were safely home.

Fifty years ago, I was one of many.... an insignificant one of many who protested.  Even today I would NOT trade that experience because I know what we did was necessary. My grandfather voted for nearly 75 years of his life. I have voted for 51 years. Your vote is yet to come. Too many politicians today are trying to devise ways of disenfranchising everyday people. Your generation will have to be vigilant and take on the fight.  I wish it were not so, but in many ways the threat to restrict voting rights is just as dangerous in the 21st Century as it was in the 20th. Take notice of the fact that black people were murdered, lynched, beaten, firehosed, and chased by dogs to keep them from exercising their right to vote. Take notice of the fact that in certain places today, people have to stand in line for HOURS in order to vote. Take notice of the fact that voting hours in many places have and are being shortened.  Voting is a powerful weapon and it is probably the most powerful weapon that everyday people have.  If this wasn't so, why would so many people have been hurt or killed to keep them from voting? Why would politicians be working so hard to restrict rather than to expand voting opportunities? Why?

LONG JOURNEY FORWARD

Tempest Fugit! Time flies and does it ever.  Fifty years ago I was preparing to walk across the stage at Presser Hall, Berea College, Berea, Kentucky in recognition of completing requirements for my B.A. degree.  Was I prepared for the next 50 years?  Absolutely NOT. In my youthful naïve mindset, I failed to recognize exactly what the word "commencement" meant.   Receiving my degree was a huge milestone in many ways. My father with his seventh grade education and backed by a keen motherwit  had acquired the skills and knowledge that today would be called a journeyman electrician. He was largely self educated and  in his time and in his way he was successful.  My  mother had taught winters and gone to school during the summers...supported by her husband's  focused efforts and her parent's support to get that coveted "County Education" degree from Ohio University. Along the way...she had raised two children to adulthood and sent BOTH off to earn their college degrees...my brother from Tuskegee Institute and my sister from Storer College in Harper's Ferry, West Virginia.  She had  also given birth to a third late in life child...ME ...before losing the battle to cancer when I was a toddler.  When I walked across that stage...I did not truly realize how remarkable my journey had been.

 

My maternal grandfather had been born in 1868 just after the end of the Civil War. My paternal grandfather had been born in 1861...before the end of slavery. Because of the traditions of Appalachian men...especially black Appalachian men....I was "sheltered" from that knowledge....a knowledge I had to fight to acquire after the death of both grandfathers and my father.....knowledge I had to ferret out as the nearly middle age adult parent of half grown children! The journey I began that January Sunday afternoon fifty years ago would be challenging....frustrating...and filled with twists and turns I could not and would not see  or understand for many, many years. Perhaps I thought that graduation was a terminal point along the journey to be educated.....little did I know....that Sunday was only the beginning....of a long journey to the future.

 

Early in life...my mindset for learning was shaped by the adult family members around me. If I had to paraphrase  the learning style I grew up with...it would be "keep your eyes and ears open..mostly keep your mouth shut and analyze what you see and hear."  That advice shaped the beginning of my news writing career...at fifteen.  The local newspaper decided to print a page in the Sunday paper especially for teenagers.  They announced the page, they asked for volunteer writers, and I applied...and was accepted.  Did I have a clue what I was going to write about? No...but I liked to write so I began.  The first article  was totally rewritten by my editor...and I was devastated.   After my hurt feelings had toned down..I sat down with my original article....looked at the published piece and started picking apart my errors. Never again would I be edited beyond recognition...ever.  I wrote for that paper for three years...reports on school news, opinion pieces, miscellaneous news and hardly a month went by that something I had written did NOT appear in print. By the time I graduated from high school...I knew I wanted to be a writer.

 

My stepmother blew her stack...telling my father that he shouldn't encourage my useless daydreams.  I had learned early on to keep my writing well hidden from her. She would sneak in my bedroom at night...read my mail, read my journal...and talk about me (negatively) to anyone who would listen. My mother's brother brought home (to my grandparent's house) the solution to THAT problem. He bought a desk and a used typewriter and told me to get busy....and keep my writing in the desk. Loudly he proclaimed that the desk and the typewriter were HIS and no one was to bother it! My stepmother did NOT nose around his desk. Needless to say...my mother's family has ALWAYS encouraged my writing.

It was senior year in high school and time for college applications and the dreaded college essay. Conflict time (Armageddon style) erupted in my father's house.  My stepmother was going to oversee my college application. She swore to my father that my writing was terrible and  nothing...and I do mean nothing I wrote was acceptable (to her).  I was a nervous wreck until the day I finally spilled my frustrations to my grandfather.  His solution....get another application...fill it out and send it in...and the acceptance letter came two weeks later.

Wish I could say...my stepmother's incessant meddling ended. It did not..if anything she was more focused and determined to interfere....even to the point of declaring a major for me that was diametrically opposed to my personal interests. By this point...all I wanted to do was get out of the house and away from her.   By the beginning of my sophomore college year,,,my father had figured out that something was seriously wrong and at that point...he emancipated my decision making and my declared major was changed to English...I secured a job at the local newspaper and my nerves settled down.

Studying the craft of writing at the university level was challenging in many respects.  There are many formats to learn (and unlearn).  Because I had learned (informally) newspaper writing (the five  W's (who, what, where, when. why or how) my writing instructors who were focused on academic writing were determined to break what they considered to be "bad writing habits."    What were those so called "bad habits?"  Primarily I had to learn the difference between formal and informal language, i.e. no trite phrasing  (find another way to convey the idea).   Those words and phrases were considered unacceptable probably because of overuse in daily speech

 

 "

A)	A blushing bride, A fool and his money, Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Acid test, Add insult to injury, Age before beauty, All in all, All is not gold that glitters, All things being equal, All work and no play, Apple pie order, As luck would have it, At one fell swoop

B)

Barking up the wrong tree, Best laid plans, Better late than never, Better mind your ps and qs, Beyond the pale, Blood is thicker than water, Blow off steam, Born with a silver spoon, Breathe a sigh of relief, Bright and early, Bring home the bacon, Budding genius, Busy as a bee, Butterflies in (my) stomach

C)	Caught red-handed, Checkered career, Cherchez la femme, Chip off the old block, Clear as mud, Cold feet, Cold sweat, Cool as a cucumber

D)	Dead as a doornail, Dead give away, Deaf as a post, Depths, Die is cast, Dog days, Draw the line, Drink and be merry, Drunk as a skunk, Dull thud

E)	Ear to the ground, Eat, Eat (my) hat

F)	Face the music, Far cry, Feather in (his/her) cap, Few and far between, Fill the bill, Fine and dandy, First and foremost, Fish out of water, Flesh and blood, Fly off the handle, Fond farewell, Fresh as a daisy

G)	Gentle as a lamb, Get the upper hand, Get up on the wrong side of the bed, Gild the lily, God's country, Grain of salt, Green as grass, Green with envy

H)	Hale and hardy, Hand to mouth, Happy as a lark, Hard row to hoe, Head over heels, Heart of gold, High on the hog, Hungry as a bear

I)	If truth be told, In the final analysis, In the long run, It goes without saying, It is the last straw, It stands to reason

K)	Kettle of fish

L)	Last but not least, Lean over backward, Leave in the lurch, Left-handed compliment, Let thew cat out of the bag, Like a bolt out of the blue, Limp as a rag, Little did I think, Lock

M)	Mad as a wet hen, Mad dash, Make ends meet, Make hay when the sun shines, Make no bones, Meets the eye, Method in his/her madness, Moot question, More easily said than done

N)	Naked truth, Necessary evil, Never a dull moment, Nipped in the bud, Not to be sneezed at

O)	Of despair, On the ball, Open and shut, Opportunity knocks, Out of sight out of mind, Over a barrel

P)	Pay the piper, Pretty as a picture, Pull his/her leg, Pull the wool over my eyes, Pure as the driven snow, Put a bug in your ear, Put on the dog, Put the best foot forward

R)	Rack my brains, Raining cats and dogs, Read someone the riot act, Red as a beet, Right down (my) alley, Ring true, Rub someone the wrong way

S)

Sad but true, Save it for a rainy day, Self made man, Sell like hot cakes, Seventh heaven, Sick and tired, Sight to behold, Sing like a bird, Snare and a delusion, Sow wild oats, Start the ball rolling, Steal thunder from someone, Stir up a hornet nest, Stock and barrel, Strong as an ox, Stubborn as a mule, Stuffed shirt

T)	Terra firma, The bitter end, The jog is up, Throw the book at, Tit for tat, Too funny for words, Turn over a new leaf

W)	Waiting with bated breath, Wee small hours, Without further ado, Wolf in sheep clothing

Y)

You can say that again, Your guess is as good as mine  "  This internet based list (from an unknown source)  provides a less than definitive selection of language that my generation of writers were carefully admonished  from using. Since I often hear similar language from today's television newscasters...I suspect the rules for acceptable usage have changed (in the last half century)?  Even if change has occurred in acceptable language....my emotional acceptance  has not altered and I cringe at the abundance of "trite" language usage in the media.  In that respect my original formal writing instructors were highly successful   but they were even more successful in grooming my reluctance to share my creative efforts.  Was that destruction intentional?  In retrospect, I must say no that I doubt they  thought that far ahead...it was simply that their vision for my future direction in life and mine were NOT the same. The majority of my instructors were single unmarried women who for their generation had chosen the difficult path of career over the personal traditional path of marriage and family!  After all, I came of age about the birth time of the so-called "women's liberation" movement. The role of women in American culture and society influences all of my gender but that is a topic for another day. I am a woman largely raised by the men of my family and my attitudes and opinions did NOT fit the social norms of the early mid 20th Century! Still don't ! The storm of many conflicts lay ahead and truly....I had no clue. No one ever told me that as a black woman...that I was a less than equal student! I remember sitting in a sociology class listening to a discussion about social class (the American caste system).  To my amazement and astonishment....I heard the professor talking about...people without ambition, people who did not value education, people who did not start businesses or own property, people who did not have "traditional"  values for living.  I was a "well raised"  Appalachian child so even though I understood perfectly who and what he meant  as he discussed "lower class" people....I did NOT cuss him out (I hadn't reached the point where I would cuss openly.)  Later I would ask the professor just how I fit into this "class" scenario only to be told that "as a Negro...I was "lower class."  That professorial comment absolved me of all responsibility of listening to any other comment that particular teacher made.  My family had carefully taught that us we were no better and no worse that any other human being.....black, white, pink, purple, polka dotted, or transparent!  I knew  very well that my father, a retired lineman for a major utility company had studied and learned his trade to the point where the company had often called on him to train other linemen.....and there were more then a few men he had trained.  My grandmother and my mother  both taught in one room schools. In fact my mother taught all winter and went to Ohio University in the summer to work on her teaching degree! (This was not unusual in the first half of the 20th Century.) Two of my uncles had also taught and my youngest uncle (complete with an M.A. from the University of Pittsburg) was a school principal!  (He was also a man who had been denied his master's degree from the University of Cincinnati because "Why did a black man need a master's degree?)  Did the professor in question realize how prejudicial his comments had been? I doubt he  cared or even thought that far....but of the comments  made to me......  all  his comments proved would have been his irrelevance. Those comments could have been crushing but as a family we have always  had a stronger sense of who we were and where we were going and all he succeeded in doing was making me more determined to follow......the pathway I had chosen. Graduate school found me in a land grant university and sitting in a class taught by a pontificating psychology professor.  For three or four weeks...I listened to him discuss the psychology of urban  black students until one afternoon...I looked at this New York born, blonde, blue-eyed wealthy man of Jewish descent and asked the question (not so politely)  "How in the hell could he presume to tell me (the only black person in the class)  what a black high school student thought or felt when he came from a totally different background?"   I slammed my books into my book bag, cleared my desk and walked out without a backward glance...because of course, he was so flustered that he had NO answer. Consequently, I refused to return to his class until he negotiated a bargain with me, If I showed up for his final exam (at the end of the second semester of his class) my grade for both semesters would be "A".  My grandmother didn't raise any fools...I showed up. My first year teaching taught me another set of lessons....sadly also related to my brown skin.  The principal of the big city school was a tall, very light skinned black man.  I didn't think twice about his complexion...my family has been of mixed heritage for generations and frankly our family reunions reflect the inclusiveness of our blood.  It was near the end of class and I looked up as the principal stomped into my classroom.  He demanded that I come down to his office immediately (didn't ask...demanded). I know I looked at him like he was crazy.  My youngest uncle was a principal and had been for many years...so I was NOT impressed by his title but I was infuriated by this man's tone.  I caught him just outside the classroom door.  "Mr. Evans....how dare you approach me so disrespectfully in front of a full class of students! I will NOT put up with this level of disrespect from them and I certainly will NOT put up with it from you!  If I choose to come to your office....it will be after school and after I have finished with my class!" I stomped back into my classroom and slammed the door. My students were quiet and I continued the lesson.  Sadly enough...the older teacher in the next classroom had to tell why the confrontation had happened...I had never heard the phrase "color struck"  before...but then, why would I?  My four foot eleven grandmother had carefully "schooled" her family to respect one another and she backed up her lessons  with a strong and uncompromising left backhand. The lecture following her backhand was NOT fun. Shock would best describe my reaction to Mrs. Murphy's explanation of "color struck". In the 21st Century (I hope) the phrase is closer to meaningless than it was in 1966. I hope but I am not sure. What she described to me was quite bluntly "black on black" prejudice.  Historically...the back room comments (based on the same crazy concept) was the "paper bag test." If your skin was any darker than a brown grocery bag...you would be relegated to the fringes of society!  The darker you were....the further out you were placed.  I am sure that my mouth was hanging open  in shock because I had never heard such nonsense!  How could I?   My family (both maternal and paternal) is well mixed up with all of our ancestral traits and believe me our ancestry spans many ethnic groups and many complexion shades.   Publicly...I heard Mrs. Murphy's explanation, privately,  I labeled the explanation as so much B.S. and I do NOT mean bachelor of science degree.  Life lived would teach me that Mrs. Murphy's explanation held more truth than I wanted to accept. Prejudice and bigotry are unfortunately interwoven into the fabric of our society.  I grew up in a family that was NOT tolerant of intolerance and in my naivete....I expected the rest of the world to share those values.   What life has taught me is that an open mind, an open heart and open eyes are the best existing  weapon against prejudice and bigotry.  Do people change? Yes! Why and how people change depends on their exposure to individuals of different viewpoints in combination with a willingness to communicate. Communication is a two way street and it is a street many people can not or will not  travel. Communication requires one to be mentally flexible enough to analyze other peoples' actions and reactions. Black describes my culture... Appalachian describes my culture.....and I am BOTH.  Some of my ancestors were obviously stolen from Africa ( and very soon I am going to do the DNA test to find out WHERE in Africa),  Other ancestors fled Europe (Ireland and England) for the freedom to practice their chosen religion (a Catholic family  and a Quaker family).   Then there were the ancestors who were watching from the forests when the rest arrived!  Two historic family names are Norman French in origin, another is either French or Dutch in origin.   That DNA test will help  determine  those origins also.  An elder once told me that life is like a blank chalkboard. Each person who passes through your life writes upon that chalkboard. Some marks stay, some marks fade but  all marks contribute to the person one becomes.  

 

 

LIFE TEST

     Tis four days before Christmas and all through the house the rescued twin kittens  are terrorizing Queen Smokey and playing with the dog's tail as he begs deliverance  from his harassers.  Armed with my trusty spray bottle...I am trying to guard the Christmas tree from the rampaging kittens. The margin of my hopes that my collection of ethnic ornaments would be hung on the tree is growing slimmer as the unbreakable ornaments fall to the floor ... victims of a small black paw swiping in delight  The twin's gift this holiday season was LIFE, Because they were nearly solid black..they had been sentenced to death... a sentence the old dog once shared. He and his siblings had been dumped in the woods high on a mountain before his rescue.  The queen mother cat had been dumped in a residential neighborhood and had survived by her wits for months before a family whose pets had died in a house fire snatched her off the street. Rescues...all...and all  have  a home this season.

     Pulled out of a fast food restaurant after picking up one of my sons from work and to my shocked surprise...saw two elderly (apparently homeless) people walk out of the park pushing a grocery basket each loaded down with all their salvageable possessions. Didn't have any room in the car and didn't have any cash on me so we drove home in the near freezing rain. Older son grabbed some plastic bags (to keep their possessions dry), checked his bank account (thinking he could at least feed them), left the house looking fruitlessly for the couple.  Never could find them.....and yes, we live in a small city at the end of the bus line...so the prayer is that someone (better able to help)  found them but I suppose I will never know the answer to that question.

     Son went to visit his sister in a not so far away city....spent one day helping out the Salvation Army's Angel Tree drive and that evening serving at a church  dinner  for homeless folk.  Cops in a town near us tried to chase homeless folk out of a park and threatened to arrest anyone caught feeding them. I remember a time when a homeless lady used to sit on a park bench not 40 feet from my classroom, Daily...the students would buy an extra school lunch and take  it to her. Some days that lunch was paid for by the New York born Italian principal  (who claimed not to know a thing about the lady even though he let the students out every day to feed her),  Then some nose in the air Board of Education member spotted the lady and her park bench...and demanded that the  bench be removed from the bus stop. The city complied...the bench was taken away and I do not know what happened to the lady.....another question with no answer.

     Then there was the Christmas we drove north to a major city....and found two men dumpster diving for food. Sons gathered up their take out food...put it in a bag..and demanded  that the two men cease diving and accept the still warm food. Told the men they had too much food and please help them before "Momma" got back to the car....all the while telling me to stay hidden until the men left.

     My point...with this rambling post?  Maybe, just maybe...each contact with a person or a  creature  in need is a test of who we are as human beings....a challenge issued by the Almighty?     Is it possible that people in need are angels administering the test not only of our humanity but also of the sincerity of  our religiosity?  Just saying...?

IRONY in SPADES

The scenario is duplicated daily...here there...in towns and cities across the country.  Devotees of a certain "news" outlet place the blame on the "media."  Such incidents couldn't be happening in 'THEIR" America.  REALLY?  Guess what folks...are we living in the same country?  Because...this is no anomaly in MY America.  It is NOT coincidental that when  citizens get together to talk...every single person (with very few exceptions) can share similar experiences....eerily similar experiences.

Mr. Okie R.  lived in  our "holler" and he was the town cop as well as the father of one of my best childhood friends,  B.J. and her siblings (and I)  would happily run the deer trails above her house laughing with pleasure over the freedom of running in the woods, Many Sunday afternoons (after church) we would run through the woods until we got tired and hungry. Then we would pool our change and head to the neighborhood store to buy hot dogs and bread.....run by my house to pick up the firebucket,  find a suitable spot on my grandparents' pasture field hill. Then we would make a fire in the bucket to roast our hot dogs and drink Koolaid from the mason jar  that  her momma had provided.  Our parents did not worry about our whereabouts...there was no need to. All they needed to do was listen and they could hear us laughing and playing on the hills above.

Such were the carefree (and prejudice free) days of childhood. Our little town only had about 800 people in those days and there were very few people we did not know. Mr. Okie would be busy on Saturday afternoon running between the two beer joints in town controlling the drunks. The rest of the week he would be sitting in his souped up "patrol" car catching speeders on Route 37. Anyone stupid enough to speed through town got caught because everyone in town knew there was no car around that could out run Mr. Okie's car. Many tried...none succeeded.  I remember watching one chase through town and to this day I would swear...Mr, Okie's car would jump off the ground and fly through the air when he was chasing someone.

B.J. and I grew up and left home. I went off to college and she joined the Air Force.  Occasionally I would hear about her but I never really saw my friend again after the early sixties although once or twice..I ran into her little brother...also named Okie. 

I mention Mr. Okie because he formed my impression of what a "cop" should be. What I came to realize much later in life....there were very few men in that profession who could measure up to his standards. He was husband, father, and neighborhood elder and he took all of those  responsibilities very seriously.   Sometimes he would  ride up the holler to talk to "Uncle Grant," otherwise known as my grandpa.  Some days he wanted tomato plants from our "hotbed" and sometimes he wanted to talk..to gain some wisdom...on life... I guess.  

The next person I knew in the profession was Rob S. He was a veteran  and an undergraduate at Howard University. He and his wife and I  lived in the same apartment building in D.C.   I think we became friends    because early on....there were not many black people in the building..so we all soon knew each other.  Rob had a brother in law school and another brother who lived in the building. After school...Rob joined the D.C. police force...as a plain clothes officer. At the risk of life and limb, he and his partner interrupted a bank robbery. Years later I heard of his actions leading to the arrest of a major east coast  drug dealer.  My more memorable recollection of my friend was a night during  the riots after the death of Martin Luther King. Rob and  a couple of other guys who worked part time jobs at a neighborhood liquor store (owned by a Jewish neighbor) decided to sleep at the store. It so happened that the rioters decided to break in the store that night only to be confronted by three angry young  men. The message was simple, "Leave this store, this merchant alone! He works in the neighborhood, he lives in the neighborhood, he employs folks from the neighborhood, and he treats us the right way. Go bother someone else!"  I don't know what else was said but I do know that a cracked window was the only damage the store sustained while the store across the street (owned by a man who had NO ties to anyone in the area) got cleaned out! 

These were/are folk who took the mantra "to protect and serve" seriously. There was Tom S.  who was born and grew up in the town he served. He would put on his uniform and proudly walk the streets of his town talking to his people. Because he treated folk with respect, he was respected as a friend, as a neighbor, and as a police chief.  One of his officers suffered serious injuries and could not work for an extended period of time. Tom reached out to people he knew could help and help was given without further discussion, The injured officer was also part of the community and the community responded in kind. I knew of a female officer who knowing of a young family's need, quietly arranged that the needs were met. I have known of officers who served their churches, who coached little league teams and who took the time to warn children away from potentially bad situations. I have known officers (in a couple of municipalities) who bought  run down houses in the areas they served. fixed up the houses and moved in ....to become an integral part of the neighborhood.

Two cousins wear the uniform (and have for years). My children have friends who wear the uniform (and walk the walk  - to protect and serve).  Because of those I have known and those I know, it is so difficult to comprehend the mindset of others I see. These are the antagonistic, bullying, power hungry "cops" who operate more (to me) from an organized gang mentality.  They think their misdeeds will never come to life (in this age of internet social media...they have GOT to be kidding)! In  this age of instant communication (cell phone cameras and social media) the "village that raised the child"  has taken over the world!   The fact is...my phone has a better camera than my first professional camera (an Argus C-3 stolen from my car many years ago).  My phone also takes great videos and so does everyone else's!   Not only does the "village" see and hear what you are doing, they are recording it!  There is on the market today a professional video camera that is smaller than my phone!  Just saying....if I know this (in my seventh decade on this earth) why don't these miscreants know this?  Most peculiar.

Ghosts?

Do you believe in GHOSTS? I will probably chuckle and never really answer that question. In my own way,in my own time, in my own words, if you listen carefully, there is an answer to that question...somewhere out THERE. My grandmother once told my sister that there was a room in her house that I refused to enter,as a baby. She said I would scream and yell until they took me out of that room. Of course I don't remember that but what I do remember is that, to me that room was always cold, even on the hottest of summer days...until the summer I turned 17.



That summer was just before my senior year in high school. It was a fairly typical summer except....my grandmother had been dead for a year and both my uncles...who lived at home with Grandpa and who were significant adults in my life were unknown to me...battling cancer. One rainy day....I was nosing around in the drawer of an antique dresser and a thought entered my mind....LOOK IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER! Finally I looked and there...was a significant stash of unused sewing fabrics. I flew through the house to the Chinese elm tree in the front yard...to ask my grandfather if I could have the fabric. "Of course," he answered, "your grandmother saved it for you."



Until that summer...my "school clothes" had consisted of four cotton blouses and two cotton skirts....for three years. My stepmother saw no necessity to spend my father's money on dressing his youngest child....and honestly...by this point in my life, I saw no necessity to spend any more than the minimum amount of time anywhere near her. The fabric was a godsend. That was the summer I sewed...using my grandmother's treadle machine and that school year...I ACTUALLY had some decent clothes that were NOT threadbare, Somewhere in the back of my mind was a voice whispering.."You can take care of yourself!" That room never felt cold to me again.

WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS!

So, the Supreme Court has spoken ...again.....out of the wrong side of its mouth......twice before noon.  Makes me wonder what thinking  evolved into the decision. So now......the owners of Hobby Lobby can force their religious convictions on their   employees and it  is perfectly legal?

    A dear friend of mine pastors a church and has for many, many years. Every Sunday, in their church bulletin there is a list of the members and what  each family put in the collection plate the previous Sunday.  My belief is that what I put in the plate is between me and my God.  Were I to attend his church...the donation would be in CASH or in a sealed envelope and  there would be NO name attached.  I may visit his church but I am not a member of his church or his denomination.  He and I have had that discussion and have agreed to disagree.  An elder down on his luck approached me one day near a fast food restaurant and asked if I could buy him a sandwich. I could, I did  and I would never say what was spent. My children were riding  in the car one day and saw a man standing in the rain with a sign....they rolled down the window and handed their fast food out the window to the homeless man. They saw two men dumpster diving in a major city stopped them and handed out their own fast food meal to the men.  Both incidents are years past and are mentioned  for illustration only.  I raised six children to adulthood....I am not wealthy and I never have been and its not going to happen now.  My church provides the framework for my actions (and those of my offspring) but that's not for public accolade or knowledge....and there is no way I would demand that others (in my employ or in my range of influence.....assuming I have such) should follow my example.

      What  is my point?  My religious convictions govern my behavior...but I have no right to force my beliefs on others and others do not have the right to force their beliefs on me. NO EMPLOYER should have the right to cherry pick the health coverage of his/her employees. Whether a female does or does not use birth control is NOT the employer's business!  Whether the employer does or does not  use birth control is NOT the employee's business. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

     The only choice left to me is to vote with my feet and me purse. I will NOT set foot in Hobby Lobby ever again.  In my belief...they have gone  TOO FAR. Two of my historical relatives came to this country for FREEDOM of  RELIGION. One set were Quaker....one set were Catholic. One set didn't (supposedly) practice WAR...the other set (supposedly) didn't practice Birth Control.  There were probably lots of differences in beliefs....but the singular agreement  between the two sets was the right to select and practice their chosen religion....without interference.

MOMENTS IN TIME, INNOCENCE LOST

It was November 22, 1963. I was a 20 year-old college junior working as a reporter for a central Kentucky weekly newspaper. My working hours were scheduled around the times of my college classes so on that particular day, I was alone in the news office  working on an assignment during the lunch hour. The rest of the staff had scattered to wherever they  chose to eat...home...the lunch counter at the drug store or the bus station or the college cafeteria. The phone by the editor's desk  rang, I answered it , and with that  one act......lost  the innocence and naivete of childhood. I no longer remember who called...male....female....known or unknown. The name...the voice...have faded into the nothingness of obscurity. The question I was asked will never fade...."Is it true, my God, is it true? They're saying on the radio that someone shot the  PRESIDENT!   In Dallas! Is it true?"

There was no radio in the office and the closest wire service was not accessible.  I called the dorm where I lived and asked for my roommate.  She had a class soon...in the same direction (across campus) as the newspaper office.  I wanted my radio.....I needed some way to check this frightening information.  Finally (after some back and forth conversation) she agreed to bring it on her way to class.  By the time the radio was operational....I think every one was back from lunch and in  the office listening  in shocked silence, What could we think? Presidents didn't get assassinated in the 20th Century....did they?  This couldn't possibly be true....could it?   I honestly don't remember the reaction of the older folk. I do remember that students gathered together in clumps of friends..maybe hoping for security in numbers...I don't know.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the first President I ever saw  in real life.and I remember his campaign coming through the mountains of West Virginia....stopping in Fort Gay...visiting the high school...talking to teachers...talking to students...knocking on neighbor's doors. I remember John Kennedy. his brother, Robert...and his mother, Rose.  They seemed like real people which is what I told my grandfather and my uncles later that day. ..By the time I graduated high school..some one my family knew sent me a picture of President Kennedy...a picture that was a cherished possession for many years to come  An event and a person that to my (as then unborn)  children would be only a footnote in a history book...became real life.

Was the death of the President a shock?  I don't think the word, "shock"  adequately describes the emotional bomb that whipped across our campus. No event in the personal lives of young adults  (in 1963) could have prepared us for the news on that day.  Multiply the shock of the totally unforeseen, sudden, unprepared for death of a close family member and maybe...just maybe if that upheaval was multiplied by  100...there would be some approximation of our feelings.   Many of us walked to class in groups instead of singly...probably feeling  there was a nebulous "safety in numbers".  Little did were really know  other than....we were scared...not overtly...but down deep in the pit of our stomachs deep...in a winter afternoon....thousands of miles from where we lived, our sense of quasi safety had been torn from our psyche and we would never again see the world in the same way.

Many faculty and staff reached out to the students with a phone call....a strongly worded "invitation" to "come to the house.: The college dentist was from  Fort Gay and sensing the distress in our very souls...gathered a group at his house...a five minute walk from the dorm. There we sat huddling together in front of his television set...not talking much...just watching history unfold..the aftermath of Kennedy's death...the swearing in of Lyndon B.  Johnson....the death of Lee Harvey Oswald...the state funeral of President Kennedy.  The numbness slowly began to ebb away. We stashed newspapers which covered the events....we went to class....we moved on as the country  moved on...never expecting...never dreaming that we would see   two more assassinations before the end of the decade.